YFriday, December 19, 2008' 4:23 AM
WEDNESDAY!
OK! wednesday, in the morning, about 10 char give me a morning call.. we meet to go for a movie:) so when i wake up, i reliese that i have to bath my chou chou de dog. so i smsed char that i will be late! haha anyway i bathed my smelly dog and dry him. he was super scare of the water lo. aiyo. also dunnoe y. haha or maybe he scae of me not the water? bleah.. anyway after that, i bathed and change and wnt out a 11.05 like that. was suppose to meet her at 11.30 but was late for 15mins? haha after that we went to buy the tickets. and den go walk walk. cos the movie start at 12.30. so go walk walk around, den go for the show. the show not bad. it was nice. funny oso. opps, never say wat show i watching, hmm i watched bolt. the super dog. haha anyway after the show we went for lunch, and i saw char's cousin. den after that we go meet elaine. den go back to SBP. anyway she just go back to sign the form. and it's a stupid form. ok, after that they go off le. oh ya, elaine, char, sammul, kai en char cousin and me we walked to SBP! aiya nth special.
WHY I GO BACK!
i go back because the next day i have to take my N level results! anyway that night i hardly sleep. i fell asleep at about 6plus in the morning and have to wake up at 7plus. and i did. was not feeling tired at all...
THURSDAY!
ok, thurday i went back to school to take results. first meet bee ghee and anna. after that go meet ting and yisi. all jiemeis go school together. and there is a vivian oso la. after that all go sch. feel nervous. and scare. by the time go up the hall i already sweat like mad! but den after that ok le. anyway this yr in sch top is YEN CHENG... anyway they talk. blah blah blah blah.. ok! finally take result already. i am the first. cos is acordding to index no. and i am first! anyway i passed all my subjects. did not bad! one question, was i suppose to be happy?? noe wat when i see my results i was happy, but is only for that moment. i really should be happy because i got improve. but i am not. i am just not happy. i dunnoe y. after that day i am really v moody. oh and yup, mr chng treat us to eat pizza hut! he so nice. but i think the food nicer. bleah.. anyway THANKS YA MR CHNG! back to results. and was back to choose the course that i want to take. this give me a big head too. can someone tell me why i am in such a moody mood and i am really not happy?
FRIDAY!
today morning like 11plus like that i choose the course i am taking. but in e end did not apply. cos i saw a course that i really wanted to take. but it's a traineeship course, that means going to work and study at the same time. at first i was ok about it. till i went for the brifing today. i suddenly reliese that maybe i can't make it? because i will need to have an interview. all of the sudden i feel like taking baking and pastry. ppl might think because of my frenz that y i wanna go. buit i am NOT! although there are two of my jiemeis idi put that as a first choice. i really getting tired of this. i am scare, i am worried, who can help me to get out of this? i am really feeling moody right now! so scare.. but so wat?? who will bother? i dunnoe..
noe wat? there are disspointment in somethings. and i guess that is y i am moody. my heart is crying, do you notice it? i have done well, do you notice it? why? some words are just so simply it can really make me happy for the whole day and if you day it, i will feel that all this work are worth it. the result i get are well done. but now, to me, my result are just nth, it's worthless.. it just a paper wif As and Bs.. and C. SO WAT? is it because the words are too simple and that you feel that no need to say? do you noe that i am angry with you? i really dun wish to speak with you. i dunnoe why i am still in this house, the house that should be a home for me. but to me, it now just became a place to have freedom. there is no love in it. so wat if you really care for me. but if i can't feel it, wat is the difference? i noe you try yr best! but... i am now right now in my mood. you are always never there
for me. when i needed you. you are just like MOTHER! i hate it! i hate all of it! why is it that a place i dun feel it's a home, it actually make me feel safe and loved? why not my home? i am just stupid.. i will never be the girl you noe anymore..... because it won make a different!!!!!!!!!!
