YThursday, February 26, 2009' 5:36 PM
ok!
things have just been going to the wrong way. well, i have to cancel the BBQ for this sat. because i can get a BBQ pit. cannot blame anyone. who ask me, dun book earlier leh? anyway, was not really feeling happy. today just feel totally suck man! my mood have not change even after sch end. well, ppl ask me, why my blog always sound so EMO. i dun wan it to be Emo, but i just feeling sad all the time. should say after somethings happen, i have been sad ba. never really cheer up before. feeling very fan, but dunnoe wat to do. when staying at home, i really felt so tired. everything i have to do. and my grandma is nagging and nagging at me. i dun mind doing. but i mind listening to her to nag! i can't stand ppl who keeps on nagging non stop! and tat make me angry and get out of control. but she s my grandma there is nothing i could do. i can only listen to her. birthday are coming. still dun feel really happy. although tmr there are ppl who will be celebrating with me. but am i really happy? will i be happy? i dun wanna lie, i am really feeling damn suck! was not happy for the past few days! i dunnoe wat happen! sometimes i am just thinking maybe i should just let my birthday pass quietly.. let no one noe. or no one notice it. because i feel so tired. but i really wanna thank the frenz who will be going tmr. i dunnoe if i will be happy. i really scare. i am smiling on the outside, but i am dying in the inside. does anyone even notice it? is it really my birthday? is it really for me to celebrate? i dunnoe. i feel so tired, like i have never felt before, and this feeling have not been going away. it just stay after the thing happen, it make me wanna kill myself. i told yisi yesterday, if i am not smoking now, i will be cutting my hand already. and its the truth. because i am feeling suck! and i can't find the f***ing reason. hahas. maybe i am just a fool ba. just a extra person living in my lonely world... ppl are just passing by me. they are not stopping in my world. because they dun understand.
*SHE THINK SHE IS JUST A STUPID PERSON LIVING IN THIS WORLD. WHO THOUGHT TAT EVERYTHING WILL CHANGE FOR A BETTER, WHO BELIEVE TAT SHE HAVE DONE ENOUGH, WHO BELIEVE TAT THERE ARE STILL PPL WHO CARE. HAHA SO STUPID SO KE LIAN!HAHA ALONE MIGHT BE A BETTER CHOICE FOR HER, MAYBE LONELY IS BAD, BUT WHEN SHE IS ALONE AT LEAST SHE IS NOT HURT, NOT BEING HURT AS A FOOL WHO STILL BELIEVE TAT SHE WILL BE HAPPY. SHE WILL LEARN HOW TO EVEN WHEN SHE FORGET HOW TO... SO WAT? FELT TIRED? BIG DEAL? FELT SAD? BIG DEAL? BIRTHDAY COMING? BIG DEAL???!!!! WHO IS GOING TO BOTHER? HER FAKE SMILE ARE HURTING HER, BUT THERE IS NOTHING SHE COULD DO, SHE WANNA CRY, BUT THE TEARS ARE JUST NOT COMING OUT. WELL, MAYBE JUST A MAYBE IF SHE COULD LEARN HOW TO SMILE HAPPILY AGAIN.. NOT FOR A SHOW BUT TRULY.. WILL HER?? MAYBE! BUT NO ONE COULD FEEL HER EVEN IF SHE LEARN HOW TO SMILE, BECAUSE SHE IS JUST A TOU MING REN LIVING IN HER OWN WORLD, WHO CAN NO LONGER KNOW WHAT IS TRUE AND WAT IS FAKE... *
FAMILY!
my family are driving me crazy!!!! my bro lost his handphone. and this is just not the first time, my dad are angry. my bro are angry too. and i have to suffer. my bro wan a new phone, my dad dun wan. my bro ask me to help.. how to help? and my grandma are just nagging at me!!!!!!!
birthday are just round the coner but i am not feeling happy or excited at all! my birthday just suck! it is just worse den other years!!!!!!!!!! i am just A STUPID FOOL WHO THINK TAT MY BRITHDAY I WOULD BE HAPPY!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!
