YSunday, May 10, 2009' 6:31 AM
hello!!
my mood not so good, so i dunnoe wat i will post, lol was good actually, but turn out bad. sometime when ppl say tat they love you, they would never hurt u, but they did it again n again. u reject them they continue to be wid u, u feel touch real touch, thinking of how to step out and trying to accept. but its always too late i guess. maybe love just cannot take the test. haa or lets just say, i am not worth for love ba. i am such a blockhead, haa how could anyone really love me? when they say they do, i guess its the starting way of hurting me all over again. maybe love is just tat far from me, tat scary. tats y, the first step could never be out. i think i have a little feeling for him, but i pretend tat i dun have. well, i never told anyone about this, when my fren ask i say no, but he did touch my heart. i did thought about giving a chance. but i never do tat. i can do all things, i could try all things, but not love. i fail to try tat. anyway just wanna thank tat person. and sorry tat i have hurt u in anyway, but u r still my fren even if u dun wan. haa well, i only really in love once, but its really very short, and i am the one who break it. (i never do anything unfaithful alright, just tat i break wid him) and tat hurts. but i am not ready i guess and i feel tat he is not the right one. well tats was quite a long time ago. well, in the past, there is a time, where i am like no life like tat. in tat period of time, i am in the valley, god is wid me, but i never let him in, i do lots of stupid things. i never let him help me. i lost faith in everything. tats when i thought i have lost god. and i lost everything. seriously tat time i am really like a no life person. feeling hurt n heart broke. but my frenz are there for me. now i am feeling much much better. thanks to the support tat i get, and i have let god in to help me as well,my classmates help me much too. although i know them for only almost 5 months but i believe that they have been a great help to me too. but there is one habit tat i cannot kick away. and i know i have not try hard enough. my past, have brought me lots of pain. there are things which i dun wan to remember. but its there. maybe its deeply in my heart. now i am scare, scare of anything and everything, i might look fine, but sometimes i really wonder am i really ok already? have i really forget? i dunnoe, my life now seem to be better. i know tat sometimes i am not a great person or fren. but i am trying to be. ppl ask, why am i so emo, now i give you my ans, because of my past. it turn me into tat. it make me learn too. heartache is so common for me. tat sometimes it should be hurtful, it never. my past became a thing tat block my future. but i must overcome it. i dun wan it to block me. i oso dunnoe why i share. but just wanna tell ppl tat care and concern about me, u dun have to worry for me, although now says i still get hurt here n there, but i learn to let it heal, i will forget my past. its a really bad thing tat turn my life up side down. i guess i should learn to forgive first den i would forget. god forgive me and forget the mistakes tat i make. and he love me as i am, would u all as my fren do the same? if yes, i feel really bless tat i have u ppl as my frenx because its really precious to me. past is past, there is nothing i could do to change, but there is future for me. i could still do something for my future. i know i can have a better future if i work hard now and forget my past. i guess its the same for the ppl who felt the same as me. about the past. because somethings make me really think and make me realise tat, no point thinking of the past, as there is no way of turning it back. look to the front. the future is much more important den the past. in the past u do something wrong, learn from it and never never never repeat the same mistakes.
i believe tat god, is there for me whenever i needed him,
even in the lowest of my life, he will be there. so is all my frenz.
won u all? haa god bless ppl be Happy and smile:)
i really love to be happy:) it felt better den sad. now i will forget the unhappy things tat have in me. i have my future. my past is a thing for me to learn. so is you ppl:) haaa
god bless love u all:)
i love you all too.. haha
MY FRENZ YOU ALL ARE PRECIOUS TO ME, SO IS GOD:)
MOST PRECIOUS IS MY FAMILY:)
BUT IS ALL THE SAME.
i will learn to treasure all things tat are around me.
so must you ppl. dun repeat the mistakes remember.
as the same remind myself. haha
ok tomorrow have school must sleep early:)
nights ppl, will post about the mother's day celebration next week. this week the post very long. haha nights n god bless u guys:)
xoxoxoxoxox
